May 28, 2023 Magazine \ Dating & Relationships

The Worst Dating Mistakes by Men and Women
My dating life is always amusing. Most of the hilarity originates from the dating blunders that my dates carry out. Particularly, I have been out with single men who make these misguided dating moves:

* Splashing on excessive amounts cologne. I don't need to smell you from across the table, I know you exist.

* Wearing globs of hair gel. The wet-hair look has thankfully passed a decade ago, or is that wishful thinking?

* Yammering on about ex-girlfriends. I want to get to know you first, not the women you've been with. Use your guy friend to cry on, not me.

* Suggesting they want an "open relationship." Hold it, buddy. Are you interested in me or my best friend? Make up your mind because versatility in this case doesn't get you dating points.

You may ask, "Who am I to judge these guys?" It's true: I'm no dating savant. I make dating mistakes too. For instance, I'll shower a potential partner with oodles of attention -- I blame the creation of instant messenging for this. Other times, I'll come off so cool or hard-to-get that the guy forgets we're even dating.

At times, I wish Dating 101 was taught back in college. I'd be a dating expert by now. To improve my odds, and your odds, in connecting with that special someone, I embarked on a dating research project. I talked with two dating experts about the major dating mistakes women make in the Big City.

Here are four of the worst dating offenses made by single women:

1. Getting lazy about love
Nancy Slotnick, dating coach and author of the book "Turn Your Cablight On -- Get Your Dream Man in 6 Months or Less" claims that you can't expect love to find you these days.

Many people don't make an effort to date and wonder why they're still single. She recommends spending at least 15 hours a week looking for love like you would look for a new job. She recommends networking by going to events, online dating, and do whatever it might take to meet someone special.

2. Giving off the wrong dating signals
Many smart and successful women think they intimidate single men. But Slotnick thinks the opposite is true. "Men actually like successful single women. They just don't always know that these women are interested in them." Women should give off the right signals and use body language to show interest. For example, if you're at a bar, stand next to the single man you find attractive and smile at him. At the same time, don't overdo it. Make sure you're smiling and not staring!

3. Listening to words before actions
My good friend and dating coach Andrea Syrtash always reminds me that men especially speak with actions before their words. Sure, he said he would call you next week, but did he? He talked about how fun it would be to go away together for the weekend, but did he make plans with you? Pay close attention to how your date acts versus what he says. The language of behavior says it all!

4. Sticking with cyber-communication
Most of us have heard that countless couples have been formed through online dating. At a wedding, I even heard a couple thank an online dating site in their vows! While I credit the Web for producing countless love matches, technology can often put too many screens up between us. We develop superficial relationships over text, instant messenging, and email. After getting comfortable with someone online, get past the initial stage of dating and lay off the gadgets a bit! Make time to hang out in person to really get to know someone -- not just the persona he presents online or on the phone.

By: Ilana Donna Arazie
Posted on 08 Aug 2008
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