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Digital Desperation |
Digital Desperation
In today's day and age, myriad forms of technology make dating a tricky game. It's all too easy to give into temptation and contact a new love interest more than you should.
Between email, texting, IMing and the quaint phone call, it's easy to find yourself becoming a multi-medium communicator. Sometimes it can be fun, but other times it's downright annoying or scary. The golden rule of communicating in the digital age should be the same as pre-tech: In the beginning, do not initiate contact -- for instance a phone call -- and then slyly text message before he or she's had the chance to respond. In other words, don't double-back your attempts to reach your new prospect.
You want to convey interest, not anxiety or neediness. When you feel the urge to reach out, ask yourself -- am I doing this for a purpose or just to relieve the insecurity I'm feeling? Contacting him because it's driving you nuts to imagine what else he might be doing is not a good idea. Fretting that she's screening you because most people are always reachable today is a short leap to obsession. People have radar for this sort of thing -- it will send a man or woman packing before they've had the chance to see you for all of your wonderful qualities.
It also applies if you're doing simply because you really like the person. I recently heard from a woman who texted a guy she had gone a date with to say thank you. That would have been fine, but two days later she saw an article about a vacation spot he had mentioned and she emailed it to him. So before he could call to ask her out again, she had already contacted him twice. Her enthusiasm got the best of her, because although e-mails are definitely more casual than calling, in the end it's all the same -- she may as well have left message after message on his voicemail.
Ultimately, forgoing the urge to become an electronic stalker is a good way to keep your head on straight. Maintain your life as you always have. Call a friend. Go out. Just get away from the phone or computer.
Respect your new love interest -- and keep the mystery alive -- by practicing some digital self-control. One day, you will look back fondly on the thrill of the chase. |
| Posted on 25 Jan 2009 |
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