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Four Guys You Think You Should Date... but Shouldn't! |
Workaholic Hotshot
This guy is always dressed to the nines, because he's loaded. Simmer down -- the cash flow comes at a price. He toils until the wee hours, then loosens his tie and parties like there's no tomorrow. Unfortunately, there is a tomorrow, and it starts in like three hours. What little time he has for you will be shared with his BlackBerry. The ugly truth: Money is the love of his life, and you come in second -- or third, since he's probably crunching more than numbers with his secretary.
Adrenaline Junkie
This dude skydives, surfs, runs with the bulls -- anything for that rush. And he has the sick abs and chiseled arms to prove it. But to keep him happy, you need to be in perpetual motion too. This guy does not like to sit around, and he doesn't like for you to sit around either. And it isn't just a phase. In his late 30s, he'll get into marathons, and they'll lead to triathlons and eventually to the Ironman competition. Yeah, that means a trip to Hawaii, but instead of chilling on the beach you'll be cheering him on from the sidelines. Having fun yet?
Nice Guy With a Chip on His Shoulder
He'll ridicule the "tools who are trying too hard" with bold clothing choices to seem down-to-earth, but here's his dirty little secret: He spends just as much time picking out his outfit as his more fashion-conscious counterparts do. Under the casual exterior is a calculating killjoy with mom issues. He'll stand at the bar thinking, "Why is that girl going for that dude over there? One day, she'll come to her senses and get with a nice guy like me!" The truth is, he's so preoccupied with being overlooked that he'd be totally oblivious to your attention.
Smooth Operator
He's the type that rolls up to the club in an Escalade and holds court in the VIP section, ordering bottle service all night. He scores women with entertaining small talk and name-dropping. Yeah, he's a Casanova in a skull cap (it replaced his trucker hat about a year ago). But this guy spells trouble. It takes confidence to pull it off with a straight face -- too much confidence. (There is such a thing.) He'll shower you with attention, but beware: You may not be the only chick in that shower!
By: Will Forte (SNL) |
| Posted on 26 Oct 2008 |
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